


Hurts Like Hell

by Paolin_Huang, wivmaboiharry



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Drinking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Grief/Mourning, One Shot, Post V-Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-03
Updated: 2015-10-03
Packaged: 2018-04-24 14:04:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4922374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paolin_Huang/pseuds/Paolin_Huang, https://archiveofourown.org/users/wivmaboiharry/pseuds/wivmaboiharry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roxy is finally having a post V-Day celebration with Percival, but things don't end up as celebratory as they should have been.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hurts Like Hell

**Author's Note:**

> My first ever fic with the help of Kelly (Paolin_Huang) so be gentle! I love a bit of angst and could rarely find Merlin's reactions after V-Day so here ya go~

“To new beginnings,” Percival (or as Roxy knows him, Uncle James) toasted, “and may the aftermath of V-day be sorted out quickly so we dun' have to deal with this crap anymore!”

“I really don’t think that’s how toasts should end, Uncle…” Roxy sighed, eyeing him off as he downed what seemed to be his 4th champagne flute (that she’s aware of anyway).

“ What are you sayin’ Rox? You dun' want this mess fixed?! I’ll fill up 'nother glass for us so you better hurry and drink up.” James slurred while trying to reach for the bottle, which ended in him knocking it over, champagne seeping into the plush carpet.

Roxy and James never got to have their ‘Congratulations on getting into Kingsman' drink so this was all James’ idea. But the affects of V-day hit him pretty hard and when Roxy had arrived at his house, James was already slightly tipsy. He hadn’t taken the deaths of the Kingsman members well. Losing Galahad, Kay and Arthur all in one day had been a lot to take in. Adding insult to injury, his friend and mentor Arthur had been exposed as a traitor. That shook him up enough that the tall brunette’s age began to show on his face. Roxy peered over at her uncle over the top of her champagne flute. His expression was solemn, making his features more prominent. She’d never realised the deep creases in his brow and the shadows on his face had intensified around his eyes, making him seem much older than he was.

“Uncle, why don’t you lie down on the couch? I’ll clean this mess up and you just relax” Roxy offered with a gentle pat on his back. James blinked at her for a few seconds and pinched the bridge of his nose, realising that maybe he had had one too many

He sighed heavily and hiccupped “I’m so sorry Rox, I didn’ mean-“

“No worries. I got this covered.” Roxy interrupted “I’ll clean this up and order some pizza or something, okay?” 

James drunkenly nodded and started stumbling his way to the lounge. “Thank you, Roxy… really.” he slurred as he exited to the hall, exhaustion evident in his voice.

Roxy let out a long breath. She could understand the toll this mess was taking on her uncle, and she was very glad he had had those few drinks while she had him in sight. She pushed the dining chairs back into the table and grabbed the champagne bottle by the neck, placing a small hand underneath it as she paced quickly to the kitchen. She was sure it was expensive, as her uncle liked the finer delicacies in life. The kitchen was tiny but then again so was the rest of James’ house. He preferred living in a smaller home with minimal ornaments, nothing suggesting he was an agent. It still managed to feel quite homely though.

She snatched a couple of paper towels and headed back into the dining room, only for the door bell to ring. Placing them neatly on the floor where the spill was, she headed over to answer it. The doorbell rang another 3 times as she walked faster. ‘Hold on a minute, you impatient twat’, she thought as she opened the door, ready to blast them when-

“M-Merlin?” she stuttered. Roxy looked at her handler on the doorstep. She could feel a lump in her throat forming as she took in the hunched over form in front of her. The look in Merlin’s eyes… it was one she had never seen on him before. They were glassy and he looked like he hadn’t slept for a while. If the smell was anything to go by, he had been drinking away his sorrows that night too.

“Rox…” Merlin whispered “Roxy, I can’ stop crying…” His accent sounding thicker through his drunken slur, tears starting to stream down his face. “I didn’ know where ta go. Normally I’d ‘ave gone to ‘arry's-“ His voice broke at the mention of the late Galahad's name. His eyes were wide, the emotion from the hundreds of memories that must’ve been playing over in his head shining though. Before Roxy knew it Merlin threw his head down into his hands and started sobbing. Gasping for air like it was all he had left.

“It was all my fault! I was his handler!!!” Merlin moaned, his face twisting in a hurricane of emotions. Anger, sadness, betrayal... Roxy didn’t know how to react. She’d known Merlin for mere months and normally she is quick on her feet when reacting to grief. But seeing him like this, this tall, strong man who was usually so hard to read, she was stunned. Merlin stepped forward towards Roxy and she stepped a matching foot backward, too stunned to do anyting else.

“I fucked up and now my best friend is gone. He’s dead and I didn't do anything about it! He was all I had Rox. He- he was all I had…” he sobbed. Roxy had never seen him like this, let alone show this much emotion. This much pain and grief is something no one should experience. Merlin lifted his head. He looked broken, lost. She swallowed hard, trying to think of comforting words to say but nothing. Why can’t she think of something to say?! Anything! 

She gasped and her body stiffened as she suddenly felt rough hands around her shoulders, pulling her close. Merlin’s glasses pressing into her cheek and he hugged her tightly, pressing her face into his chest, like she held all the answers and being in contact with her would make everything go away. She listened to the muffled cries coming from him.

“I’m so sorry, Harry…” he repeated over and over and over. Roxy stood back a little to reach up and take off Merlin’s glasses, the lenses now smudged and blurry from his tears. She relaxed in his hold and guided his head to rest on her shoulder. “Shhhh” she soothed. Merlin slumped into her, his tears slowly dampening her sweater. Time passed as she coaxed his tears away, gently rubbing his back and whispering shaky promises. She doesn't know how long they stood there like that. She could feel the weight of him as he slowly passed out, his grip loosened and his sobs turning to silence. Roxy might be pretty strong for her size but Merlin towered over her. She wouldn’t be able to hold him up for much longer. She slowly lowered her body to the ground, still cradling Merlin against her. There they sat for who knows how long. Every so often she’d notice Merlin stir and whisper Harry’s name.

“Roxy,” she heard him muffle into her now tear soaked shoulder “I’m sorry you had to see me like this, lass. Y’know, Eggsy is lucky to have a friend like you.” Roxy blinked at the kind words, unsure how to respond. She jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Her guard quickly back up as she turned her head to see Percival behind her with a blanket.

“Let’s get you in bed, Merlin.” he spoke calmly, sounding much more sober than before. He picked Merlin under his arms with ease and placed the blanket over him, slowly guiding him into his home. “Come inside when you’re ready Roxy.” He gave her an understanding nod as he walked passed.

Roxy was unsure how long she stayed sitting in the soft light of street lamps shining in the hallway of her uncles house that night. She was still on the ground lost in thought when her phone beeped that midnight had come and gone. With the weight of everyone's pain and the loss of their finest agent, Harry Hart, she was surprised she had held it together for so long. When she felt the tears streaming down her face and a whimper from her mouth she knew those tears weren’t for her. They were for Eggsy and the loss of his mentor, for her uncle James and the loss of his colleague and for Merlin and the loss of his best friend.


End file.
